1. Gold medal for condom ads!
Man, I am SO far behind on condom news. (Well, not having posted anything in...um, moving on.) Have you seen the Beijing Olympic Condom ad campaign yet? A series of clever stills like the image above is garnering nearly as much chatter as the games themselves! The company, Elasun, has some clever take-offs on other ads as well. No need for a quip here, I think the ad-folks have created humor enough.
For now, anyway. -G-
2. Happy Birthday! Wait...who are you?
The female condom turns 15. An earlier roundup, unposted due to illness, included a study on female condoms and barriers to use. (I'll see if I can turn it up.) IIRC, price wasn't the primary objection women had to the things; the major reason these aren't used more is that a lot of us don't really know what the things are or why we should care. 15 years in production. And 00 in advertising time.
3. Sadly, you'll need more than 35 seconds
Spray-on condom has technical and approval issues Y'all remember this, right? The condom in a can, about which I confess to having made my share of jokes. Well, it's no longer coming soon.
Le Sigh(tm).
4. Every Man's Dream:
CDC pays (popular) men to talk about (safe) sex
Sort of. Actually, the program gives gift cards to social leaders, not $$ per se. No word on whether those cards can be redeemed at condom-sellers.
5. Can I be an honorary Canadian?
National Sex Day 2008 – August 21
http://canadianpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5hWc-aGdi5XyxnXo7kL53F3Ldu1tA
A day to celebrate sexual well-being. And, yes, the organizer is providing free condoms.
And, finally:
6. While you're waiting for designer phalli
Intellx recently announced a line of, well, let's say interestingly shaped condoms. SafeSexyShapes, they call them, made with a new technology that allows them to move a bit past the, um, natural model. Oh, the possibilities! The press release mentions a number of future options--Submarine, anyone? (Down, periscope! Oh, stop me. Please.) Or maybe you'd prefer to be a beer bottle, hourglass, baseball bat (!)... Available now are a flat-top model "YourTube" and the ever-popular dolphin--complete with, ahem, "pleasing bottlenose."
The deponent rests.
pxj
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Five-Ring Circus: Condom News Round-Up
Friday, April 11, 2008
Can't be a science nerd post 'cause this ain't science!
I'm foaming at the mouth over a recent story on the AP wire. The header reads "Sex and financial risk linked in brain"; doctors' orders or not (mouth-foaming not being an approved activity), I had to read on.
Why do I do these things?
My first reaction, discounting the rabid-animal imitation, is simple disbelief: Let me get this straight: my non-hermit friends work their buns off trying to get press coverage for their latest fantastic opus, and this makes it onto AP?
This isn't science. This isn't even fuzzy science. This is, not to put too fine a point on it, nonsense.When young men were shown erotic pictures, they were more likely to make a larger financial gamble than if they were shown a picture of something scary, such a snake, or something neutral, such as a stapler
Okay, I'll buy that. Of course, young men aren't exactly known for either their disinterest in sex or their sense of financial responsibility. Hmm. How young were these guys? Old enough the reasoning pathways were fully formed? (Teenagers really are different, though maybe not quite a separate species...) Article says hetero men, but what if you were to study men with stapler fetishes? Or those guys who are, you know, really fond of snakes...
Giggling, I read on. And choked. Their sample size was 15 college-aged men
Fifteen? That's not a study, that's barely a start. Deep breath. No women? Do women not take financial risks? Of course. Was this an all-male school? No. So
why no women? Becausethey didn't know what pictures aroused women
Where should I begin? Granted, the actual study isn't nearly as silly as the AP article makes it sound, and, yes, there is a link provided to some actual almost unbiased news coverage, but it's still irresponsibly sensational reporting.
Or maybe I'm just upset because chocolate didn't get a better mention. Or, for that matter, sex. –g–
As always,
pxj
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Does that condom come in decaf?
Happy holidays—celebrate safely!
It occurs to me that I haven’t done a condom posting in, oh, weeks! So here are some relatively recent condom links and images, carefully selected for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!
*VivaGel is coming! This microbicide has been approved in Australia as a condom coating, and the manufacturing agreement’s official. The product is “designed to prevent transmission of STIs” including herpes and HIV! It was announced for US testing in Nov. 2006...
*Musical condom ad. No, that’s not “ad for a musical condom” (how last year!); it’s a six-minute musical film promoting condom use. Catchy song, too!
*No lead in these, I hope? (Sorry, couldn’t resist!) The perception of condoms in China is undergoing a profound shift. In a country where possession was once considered de facto evidence of “illegal prostitution,” new laws require condoms to be provided in hotel rooms by the end of next year.
and condom ads on TV in that region, too.
(But, sadly, the aphrodisiac ant extract won’t be coming to store shelves any time soon.)
*Safe eggs and other Asian condom ads. Some great images!
...And, finally, news from Ethiopia, fabled Home of Coffee: coffee-flavored condoms.
Yes, really.
Upon their release, in one week approximately 300,000 of these coffee-flavored condoms were sold to the masses. Each pack contains three condoms and costs about one Ethiopian birr or eleven cents, less expensive than other condoms being marketed in Ethiopia.
These coffee condoms not only smell the part, they also look the part with their deep brown color. DKT-Ethiopia was meticulous in their research, even creating the new condoms to taste like the Ethiopian coffee of choice: the macchiato. The macchiato preferred in Addis Ababa, the capital of Ethiopia, is usually made with a shot of espresso and liberal amounts of sugar and milk. DKT initiated this campaign as a response to condom-user complaints that the latex scent of regular condoms was overpowering. This spurred the launch of these coffee condoms in Ethiopia as well as other regional-specific flavors in other parts of the world.
Man, some days I think the Universe really does love me. How else, in the midst of the HoliDaze, would it arrange such a beautiful distraction for me? Standing in line for a hour to hand over money I can’t afford on things I’ll then have to carry across the country? No problem! Because while I wait, I can wonder:
What “regional flavors” might be deemed appropriate here in the Lone Star State? Chewing tobacco? Chuck-wagon chili? Beer?
As you chase around town tossing your tinsel, ask yourself what weird flavors might be popular in your neck of the woods? Or, um, not neck, exactly...
As always,
peace and x-rated joy!
-pxj
)
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Have a Safe World Day!
I call December 1st World Condom Day, though it’s actually World AIDS Day today.
The connection isn’t exactly obscure, is it? Besides, the real World Condom Day doesn’t get nearly enough press—in fact, I’m not entirely sure when World Condom Day officially is! Some areas celebrate in late September, others in early November (Nov 3rd and 4th this year, though presumably not both), and then there are the folks who don’t differentiate between AIDS Day and the Day of the Condom at all...
Take your pick, one or all.
Though this year there doesn’t seem to be all that much observing going on. Locally, I saw a lot more Green protect the environment! news than Red Ribbon protect your health coverage today. And more about the holiday shopping outlook than either, everything from “protecting your credit during the Christmas season” to reminders that shoppers should hide packages and lock their car doors to the inevitable Safe Toys for Tots.
It seems safety is still the slogan, but sex is a secret once again. So here’s a recommendation that should satisfy:
Shop online (save the environment: don’t drive all around town to browse) using approved merchant sites (protect your credit) for novelty Christmas condoms! Slip a few sheaths into your lover’s holiday stocking. And celebrate the season safely.
Okay, seriously. Condom humor, anyone?
Q: What do you do with a green condom?
A: Leave it on the vine until it’s ripe.
Q: When should you wear a condom?
A: On every conceivable occasion.
(sorry, folks—couldn’t resist)
Q: Why does the cowboy buy condoms by the half dozen?
A: For his six-shooter, naturally.
For those of you who like your condom humor on the visual side, check out Shutterbugg
You all know I’m a fan of Miss Cellania (if you didn’t before, you do now
As always,
wishing you peace and (safe) x-rated joy,
pxj
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Campaign to Save the Book...Thong?
Alternet recently included an article titled "Will Digital Books Replace Paper and Ink?"
While it was nice to see, the article itself wasn't nearly so interesting to me as the comments. Alternet readers are a diverse bunch, and commenters...well. It requires a fairly sensitive sarcasm meter and a love of the absurd--or a strong streak of intellectual masochism--to sort through the chaff of a particularly lively discussion.
Being rather passionately interested in knowing what people think of e-books, I (gasp!) braved the comment section. The expected intelligent remarks about e-reader cost and DRM cropped up, and the undeniable sensory factor, i.e., people like the way hardcopy books feel. (And smell. Giles, anyone?) As did the anticipated "when civilization collapses..." observation. Less expected, to me, were "but what will I do with all my bookmarks?" and a welcome rare query about library lending in a world of e-. (You know I had something to say about that!)
On the pro-electronic side, someone pointed out an advantage I blush to admit had never occurred to me: that a borrowed/circulating copy e-book, unlike its hardcopy equivalent, is always new. Free from underlines and coffee stains, without torn or dogeared pages, etc.
And one poster offered, following from a remark about library catalogues being largely digitized already:
The entire Library of Congress is estimated at 10 terabytes, which is $3000 worth of terabyte hard drives at Costco today.
Which makes me lust after much more storage than is currently practical in my life, because, oh! I want a whole digital library! How many terabytes would it take to download all of Fictionwise?
But I will admit the bookmark-lover had a point. I've begun to replace worn-out paperbacks with electronic copies (P.G. Hodgell most recently). And I intend to continue doing this. It might some day be possible for me to see the top of my desk, my dresser, the hall table! There's no way all my hardcopies could be replaced, but I imagine, in some dim distant future, culling the collection until it actually fits in my multitude of bookshelves.
And any spare bookmarks, book thongs, book "earrings," and the like? Maybe I'll pin them to my wall. Or donate them to a museum. Or hang them on a Solstice Tree. Hmm. Most innovative alternative uses for no-longer-needed page-markers?
I smell a contest...
pxj
Friday, October 19, 2007
Seen from various panes
Time for another round-up; this time it's news. What do make-up, guinea pigs, historical figures, and modern social advertising have in common? Not a thing. But here they are anyway.
1) Revlon's ancestral origins revealed?
Archaeologists are at it again, or still, tirelessly trying to decipher history from trash. Though there aren't any brand-names attached, it seems from the evidence that humans 164,000 years ago put on primitive makeup
In-context definition of "primitive"?
[Researchers] found 57 pieces of ground-up rock that would have been reddish- or pinkish-brown. That would be used for self-decoration and sending social signals to other people, much the way makeup is used now
Not so sure how "primitive" that is, me with the natural kohl and similar products, but okay. (Want to be the study author and contributors are all men?
2) Forgotten Flu Fact Found
There's recent news in the medical community: proof that flu really does spread more efficiently in winter. (I just love it when the eggheads prove things your grandmother already knew.
3) Crippen hanged on false evidence, say scientists.
So, okay, history's not my usual beat, but it was an oddly sexy case. If you like your sexuality on the dark side of dark. Now, they say the body wasn't Mrs. Crippen's after all! Man, next you're going to tell me Lizzie Borden didn't go to town with an ax!
Oh, wait...
4) You could go deaf if you keep doing that! Do you care?
The FDA's requiring a new warning on Viagra and its ilk: risk of sudden hearing loss. Of course, Viagra already had a similar warning (though it wasn't legally required), and it hasn't hurt sales any!
5) Whoa, there, little dogie!
"Little pinkie" slows down Aussie drivers
Nothing to say about this; it amused me, that's all.
6) Love that pearly glow!
I started with make-up's history, so let's end with the future of cosmetics. Or one possible future, anyway: custom-grown diatoms.
peace and x-rated joy,
pxj
Sunday, September 30, 2007
In the Market For a Paper Cut?
October 1, 2007--I'm in print! Or one of my stories is, at least. My very first romantic caning story, "A New Understanding," is in the Palmprint anthology Sixteen of the Best.
There's a whole long and involved story behind how this particular piece of fiction ended up within these pages; the antho's a compilation of prize winners from Palmprint's annual summer fiction contest, but observant readers of the afterward may notice that my story does not appear in the list of contest winners. Okay, maybe it's not all that involved a story: I didn't win. The editor liked the piece a lot, though, sent me a note explaining that if she'd had another spot, I'd have taken it--and when they decided on a print compilation, she invented that one more opening. Plus one for herself, for a total of seventeen stories, despite the title.
Bonuses to grow on, perhaps, as with birthday spankings? Or canings, maybe.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Weirdest Product Ever
At least in the scents/perfumes category, this new German offering makes the top ten!
I’m not quite sure how to describe it. It’s a, um, ah... Okay. It’s an “erotic aid” for men. An “organic” scent. Yes, that aroma, bottled for your convenience. I’m not linking direct to the site—I try to keep this blog relatively free of skin, and their gateway art isn’t something I particularly care to see. Ever again. So instead, here’s someone else’s take on this interesting niche-market product:
There are no more words.
pxj
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The Deas Wouldn’t Touch This With A Ten-Foot Pole
I have a new release this week, can’t think about anything else, I admit it. Well, unless you count a rather remarkably muscled bit of “inspiration” just across the coffeeshop right now... Sorry, where was I? Oh, yes, the new book, released just this week at Aspen Mountain Press. Reach is a strange sort of story to pitch—naturally, considering who wrote the thing—and the publisher seized on one small detail for much of the marketing: the business my heroine and her partner run.
Jackie and Carrie-Anne are “business facilitators,” which seems to mean that they’ll do whatever clients need in order to get their businesses up and running or to keep them that way. They call the business Deas ex Machina, and the outgoing message on the voice mail (when the system works!) informs clients that “the goddesses” are, no doubt, out answering someone else’s prayers.
If you’ve ever had to wade through the paperwork to incorporate, change a name, or clear the title to an estate, you’ll understand why my imagination generated that particular niche. I wouldn’t be too surprised, though, to learn that similar services exist. In a world where alibi services are now available in several countries...
Though my business goddesses are fictional, I felt the need, seeing this, to wince on their behalf. Jackie and Carrie-Anne would be appalled should a client ask them for something like this. Professionally intrigued (how on Earth would you advertise that service?), salivating over the fees, amused—but appalled, really!
I should know, I made them up.
...Ow! Jackie, control that walking tree of yours!
pxj
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Reach for What You Want!
Madeleine l’Engle said
“I frequently write about myself because that’s how I discover who I am…”
I can honestly say that I am not the heroine of this particular book. But writing her story...yes, I suppose I did learn something about myself. I am not Jackie—among other things, she’s far more driven than I—but her story is one I really, really, really wanted to share with the world. Enough to overcome my usual reluctance to venture forth from my garret; enough to make me do whatever I had to, to see it published properly. Which is a story I shall not be sharing, thanks very much. Enough to say
I wanted it. So I reached. And at last—
Here it is. Within your virtual grasp.
You have no idea how it feels to be able to say that!
As always, peace and x-rated joy,
pxj
Friday, September 7, 2007
Plant Porn, Anyone?
I kid you not, artist Jonathan Keats has created pornographic film for plants. That’s right, his intended audience is vegetable, not just between the ears but entirely. Houseplants, to be exact. I giggled my way through the first few paragraphs of this article, already planning the jokes I could craft into a post, but then I hit this line:
"It is very boring but that is part of the essence of pornography, that it is very repetitive," he said.
And all of a sudden, I’m not quite laughing anymore. Of course, this is the same artist behind the “God in a petri dish” bit some years ago, so perhaps that was his intent. Shame I missed his honeybee ballet!
pxj
Thursday, August 16, 2007
“Enormous interest” in safer sex!
My latest nominee for the Nobel, in lieu of any other sufficently prestigious Practical Genius award: Futura Medical Plc. Yes, once again, it’s Condom News—and this news made me sit up and take notice, as, I’m sure, it will do for a whole lot of men out there.
See, they’ve developed a condom with
Plans are for Durex to market the CSD500 condom—presumably under some much sexier name—beginning next year. In Europe, that is; as yet, no news concerning US market penetration. (If you’ll pardon the phrasing. Or even if you won’t.) And according to their market research, as well as common sense, this thing is going to be big! (Um, that pun wasn’t intended.)
Market research has shown so far that interest in the condom is enormous, Barder said.
"Up to 80 percent of existing condom users would be interested in trying the product and, more importantly, 49 percent of non-condom users would be interested in using it as it will help them maintain an erection," he said.
The above emphasis is mine, but I’m sure you all understand why. Finally, a condom that men who don’t like condoms will still want to use! It’s just...brilliant. Genius. My little sapiosexual heart’s beating overtime just at the thought. Oh, I want to meet the person who thought of this! Meet...for a start.
pxj
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thin body, fat head
(Been under the weather lately, and feeling rather lumpish. But this got me stirred up!)
The card read “PLEASE DON’T FEED THE FAT PEOPLE”
????!!!!
There’s nothing so offensive as a vociferous convert. Or so completely indefatiguable, more’s the pity. So here’s this man, who was unhappily fat, who’s now thin-and-proselytizing—actually, by the stats, I’d say overly thin and overzealous—and who does he target? Happy “fat” people.
He chose to protest outside the 11th Annual BBW Network Bash. With that card. Fits with the rest of his message—his organization’s emblem reminds me a lot of the “No Fat Chicks” buttons the guys wore back in high school. Regardless of how one happens to feel about size acceptance versus obesity (and why is that the question, anyway?), there’s something to be said for simple kindness and courtesy!
Apparently, all those words failed to “penetrate his skin.” Personally, I’d like to see if they could be helped along by a sharp object or two. Or sharp blows from a blunt object, even. Or being sat upon by one of my larger friends.
Please don’t let the fat-head get your goat; you never know what a man might do with one of them.
pxj
Monday, July 9, 2007
Don’t know about you, but that wouldn’t be good for me...
And you thought “every flavor” beans were bad! How ’bout condoms flavored like rotten Limburger and burnt sugar? Read on...
I’ve been accused of having rather a greater interest in condoms than is quite normal. Might be true—normal’s never been my goal in life. But I swear, I was not seeking condom info today. It’s just that my RSS feeds offered an article on a San Diego building that simply begged to be the spur for a host of bad jokes.
And it reminded me of this photo, that I’d seen online but apparently neither saved nor bookmarked—hey, who knew I’d ever need the thing? Besides, I knew it’d be out there somewhere. So I sent my search-bots out into the aether.
My first search for that photo turned up an archived news-byte (photo not stored); I got to this part—
[Picture] - SAFE FLAVOUR: A businessman giggles after a model hands him a free durian-flavoured condom in Bangkok yesterday, World Aids day. Condom maker Suretex said it would distribute 100,000 of them to create more awareness about Aids prevension and of course, to boost business.
—and I squicked. Durian?
If you don’t know durian, consider yourself lucky. This theoretically edible “thorny fruit” has such a strong aroma that it’s banned from airports in some countries, and taxi drivers will refuse to accept passengers who are carrying or have recently come into contact with the things. I’m told that they’re an acquired taste, but you’ll have to take that on faith; it’s not a taste I’m ever going to acquire.
Not even in the interest of safer sex.
One of the less biased descriptions of the fruit says:
“The durian, although malodorous, has an aril (an extra seedcovering) that tastes like a combination of banana, caramel, and vanilla, with a slight onion tang.”
Yummy—not! And I thought the banana-flavored condoms were in poor taste!
Okay, fine, I’ll shut up, go write or something.
Peace and (safe) x-rated joy,
pxj
Bonus condom news:
Did you know there’s a company making “the world’s first touch-free male condom”? I know that sounds silly, but for some segments of the population, there’s actually some health benefit possible. 1) Harder to put it on wrong. 2) If your hands aren’t clean...
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Finding Sanctuary
Vanished again, I know. Sorry. No, I wasn’t hermitting—as some of you may know, I’m a freelance technical writer, and the latest gig involved many too many onsite hours. Lovely wifi they had there, but monitored. Yes, I know that still leaves the off-hours, but...I really wasn’t hermitting. Call it inspiration for future stories.
Tonight’s the first time in a while I’ve had some free time to just play online. So what did I do with it? Among other things, checked out Sanctuary.
What? I was curious! And it’s summer, season of popcorn flicks and bad faux-reality TV. Not to say I can’t live without television, or movies either, but...sometimes, I’d really a decent SF-nal something, y’know? And more than that, I’m always interested in new market models!
Not just in broadcast, of course; e-books, anyone?
So, Sanctuary. Direct-to-web short episodes. Monsters and gothic architecture and pretty people. Monsters! No ads. Did I mention monsters? I had to look. And after having seen the first two webisodes, I’d say Sanctuary seems like it has a chance. It’s visually stunning; they’re building on an established fan-base, what with all the ex-Stargate folks involved; SF fans are traditionally more open to innovative distribution models; and they’ve got the “social networking” thing going in overdrive. Want to know how effective that last is? Hey, I heard about it! And I’m a hermit.
Traditional broadcast television counts on word-of-mouth, too, but lately, networks don’t seem to feel they can afford to wait for that word to spread. Firefly is my favorite example: a show Fox didn’t keep around for an entire season, that had—that still has—a fan-base so strong it supports conventions and comic books and even a profitable movie. But the ultimate Space Western’s certainly not the only show nets cancel before they should: Jericho, canceled in May of this year, has just been resurrected for a short next season, as of yesterday, after a massive fan action. (I still want to know who thought up the nuts!) Seven more episodes, contingent upon yet more fan activity, with the dangled hope of more still. But if fans want the show to continue, says the network statement: "It [Jericho] needs to grow on the CBS Television Network, as well as on the many digital platforms where we make the show available."
Hmm. Viewer to CBS: I watched the show, I told people about the show, you canceled the show. I and my cohorts made a loud enough noise that you decided to bring it back, and now you want me to tell even more people, trusting that you won’t just pull the rug out from under us all again? You don’t know me very well, do you?
These days, a lot of shows find their best profits not in ad-supported broadcast, but in DVD sales, which don’t require a broadcast network’s fickle faith after the fans have found a show. Some items are now going straight to DVD, without even a stopover on the network circuit. New episodes of Babylon Five are due out soon! How long has that show been off the air? Straight-to-web isn’t all that unlikely, given the rise in broadband coverage and increasing customer willingness to pay for television programming. As with DVD sales, if you purchase the product, it’s yours, so you’re free of network schedules; no ads, so you’re free of those, too. And, hey, if you purchase a bundle, you know you’ll have all its contents! Much better than broadcast, these days.
Still... Am I—me, myself—willing to purchase episodes, to exchange actual cash for them? Well, why not? That’s all a DVD is, really. If you divide the cost of a DVD by the number of episodes... Hmm. Sanctuary’s an expensive proposition, by that scale, but not outside the bounds of possibility. I have to admit, I think part of the appeal, for me, is this idea of bypassing the networks. For the producer, it’s a way around a very limited distribution channel; for the customer, a real way to express a preference. Vote with your wallet! For me, it’s a way to thumb my nose at the folks who keep buying Tim Minear shows and then yanking them off the air again! With Sanctuary, I can buy the episodes just the way I’d buy e-books or songs. (And so can anyone else, naturally.) That’s a really, really nice idea.
And a gamble, counting on fans to shell out money instead of going the ad-supported route, but...I think it’s going to work. I hope it’s going to work. I might even defrost my very own credit card and shell out for a season. Or more. Not that I think it’s the best show ever or anything (that’d be something by Whedon), and I’m not sure the writers have really perfected that short-segment writing yet, going from forty-some-odd-minute episodes to fifteen, but it’s still pretty cool.
Don’t take my word for it, please! Low-res versions of the first four eps are (well, the first two are, and two more will be) available for viewing without charge; there’s a list at sanctuaryfans. Or go straight for the purchase option. Hey, four episodes cost about the same as an e-book...
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Long Live the Word!
The Association of American Publishers has just released some estimated book sale figures for 2006. I take comfort in these numbers--we're buying so many books, I find it hard to fear the global plague of illiteracy that my elders used to threaten. (Of course, what we're reading...)
And, fan of e- as I am, I was particularly thrilled to see this line:
E-books saw a 24.1% increase in 2006 at $54 million, with a compound growth rate of 65% since 2002.
Hey, folks and folksesses, we're almost halfway through 2007! Bought any books lately?
pxj
Monday, May 14, 2007
Does your soldier girlfriend have ice in her veins? No, just plastic.
Okay, fine, or his. But the phrase tends to be applied more to women, doesn’t it? A cultural thing: men are cool, women are cold. Except, of course, when we’re not. And anyway, I’m digressing. Already!
There’s a scientific thriller published way back in ’98 called The Blood Artists, in which the lack of clean blood for transfusions plays a large part in motivating the protagonists. Chuck Hogan’s certainly not the only writer to have pointed out this ever-worsening shortage, nor to postulate that the creators of a workable alternative would be due worldwide admiration.
This isn’t being presented as that so-desired alternative, just a sort of a stop-gap, and not yet workable even as that, but it might be a step forward. For all I despise the propaganda aspect that sparked my heading—war zones?—still, I got a kick out of the idea of plastic blood. And the idea that a sample of the blood will be on display in a museum...
Well, let’s just say it’s a good thing I’d put down my latte before I read that line. The laptop does not appreciate liquid caffeine. Hmm. Wonder how it would feel about plastic blood? Though I don’t think I’ll make the experiment.
Plastic blood. Okay, maybe it’s a sign that my usual interest is tending closer toward obsession than usual, but I can’t help wondering: would it feel different in the veins? Be cooler? —temperature-wise, I mean. Would it flow differently, have any effect on normal
pxj
(Meant to put this up a couple of days ago, but I got distracted by
Monday, May 7, 2007
Is it cheating if it follows the local rules?
No, I’m not talking about the “California Stop Sign”—a joke applied mostly to metro areas rather than whole states, referring to the white line around the sign as signifying that it’s conditional: this sign only applies when there’s a traffic cop around.
I’m talking about infidelity. And the most eye-catching title I’ve seen in weeks: Lust in Translation The Rules of Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee
And it’s ostensibly non-fiction.
Reuters has a fluff piece about the book. The New York Times panned it, while admitting it was entertaining. (Registration-required link) Amazon reviewers were split.
What is this book? A geographical review of modern infidelity. Oh, come on. Tell me you’re not intrigued!
Me, I was interested for professional reasons (too), after a recent CFS listed “cheating” as a whole sub-genre. That venue publishes what might generously be called stroke fiction—she says while trying to decide which of her unsold pieces they might buy!
Um. In other categories. Because I’ve never considered cheating a good thing. Makes it hard to write, y’know? Actually, just seeing that item listed has made it hard to write the past few days. Picture me: Cheating as erotic? How would one write that? Give me examples! Oh. Ick. This...people get off on this? But they’re cheating!
Etc.
Now, I distinguish between open relationships and cheating. Hey, that’s between you and your significant other(s). But infidelity? To me, that’s the stuff done without the knowledge or consent of your partner(s), and it’s a bad thing. Which, says Lust’s author, is a very American attitude.
First time in a long time I’ve been a member of the local mainstream!
I feel sort of silly posting anything about a book I haven’t read, but perhaps I needed to vent a little about that CFS. It’s not often I wince away from any area of sexual exploration, and this might be the first time a simple list-item has gotten under my skin, but it did. Which might seem a little funny to folks who routinely complain that I don’t use a second pen name for my non-romantic pieces. “And why do you have to write that stuff anyways?” goes the plaint.
Because. Which is probably what some of those people Druckerman spoke to said, when asked why they stray. (The least loaded term I could think of!) Because something intrigued me. Because I was bored. Because it was there...
As I said, I haven’t read Lust in Translation yet. Can’t say I’m all that likely to, based on those reviews—I tend to prefer my social science to have a more rigid methodology than this seems to have—but now that I’m aware of the title, I’ll be on the lookout for it. So if I happen to stumble upon a copy...
Oh, dear. Is that a cheater’s mentality?
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Protesting Pudding?
Honestly, I don’t mean to be crass, I’m just...flabbergasted. (A word I can’t recall ever having typed before!) A couple of days ago, a man burst into a busy central London restaurant and chopped off his own penis with a knife in front of horrified diners
Um, uh. Why????
Obviously, this man has some serious mental issues. He’ll now have physical ones to go with them, though the severed article has been surgically reattached. And, presumably, he’ll now get the help I think we’d all agree he needs. So, that’s disposed of, if you’ll pardon the phrase. But, on hearing about this event, my thoughts went instantly to all those poor diners and waitstaff he’s traumatized—this took place in a popular restaurant just after a marathon, so the dining room was likely even more crowded than usual, and the guy actually climbed up on a table so everyone could see him before he did the deed.
I don’t know what went through his mind, or the minds of his unwilling audience, but I’d be willing to bet that not one entrée was eaten afterwards. (Think of it: Could you eat, after that?) Though I doubt that was his intent. There must, after all, be easier ways to protest meat-eating or what-have-you.
Unintentional or not, I expect it will have at least a slight effect on local dining habits; at least, I doubt many of those diners present will be heading to other restaurants any time soon. Just the thought of being exposed to something like that is enough to make me want to order in—or maybe fast awhile—and I’m all the way on the other side of the Pond! But of course, the reason this got press coverage is that it’s so unheard of; rarity makes for good read-through. The unlikelihood of this happening again should soothe digestions and ease minds.
Unfortunately for my own peace of mind, it so happens that I just this week checked the etymology of the word “pudding,” for reasons that now seem too trivial to explain; normally, as an American, all those horrid puns and jokes like the post heading wouldn’t have occurred to me.
Have to admire the reporters (at the Guardian, no less!) for not indulging. Though, if English EMTs are anything like their brothers here, I’d bet someone made a joke or seven along those lines. Humor’s a defense mechanism, they tell me, and I should think everyone exposed to that man’s insanity—no, that pun wasn’t intentional—would need some defending.
As horrors go, this was relatively minor; nothing like the geographically nearer bloodsheds we've been hearing about recently. Perhaps that’s why my mind stuck on this, as a sort of mental vaccine against the others. But there’s a horribly tasteless appeal to the sort of thing a friend calls “winning the Darwin Award and living to collect.”
And, oh, damn, there’s another pun! Tasteless, indeed.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Whole, giant hives of squick!
Doing some publisher support today, in a small way—well, they took a chance on my work, the least I can do is drop by the odd loop day and say hi—and one of my old friends there referred to me as the Science Nerd. It’s not an insult; I’m proud to claim that title. Thing is, it made me realize that I haven’t written anything particularly nerdish in a bit. So I migrated over to the overloaded science section in my RSS feeder, and found...
Scientists claiming that termites are “social cockroaches.”
I nearly lost my lunch.
Not entirely sure I could explain that so-extreme reaction. Termites have never affected me that way before! I don’t exactly like termites, or insects generally, with the exception of those six-legged sea creatures cooked and swimming in drawn butter, but, at least from a distance, I can appreciate the design of some of them. I even appreciate some insects, the ones I know are beneficial, so long as they stay outside where they belong. But cockroaches?
No.
Not the little ones, not the giant sort we call waterbugs or Palmetto bugs out here, none of them. A cockroach is a pest is a pestilence, and must be destroyed—unless it’s a giant outdoor one and it really is out of doors, in which case it’s sometimes easier simply to run. And if you think I’m kidding, then I hope that someday you’re out when the damned things take flight, wearing shorts and a tank top or some similarly abbreviated outfit. They will knock into you!
And let’s not even think about the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach, okay? (Though at least they don’t fly.) There’s an old theory that fear of sharks is hard-wired into the human brain, from the days when we, too, were sea-creatures. Perhaps cockroaches share some ancestor, or perhaps they give off ultrasonic threat-signals; whatever the reason, a great many more people are disturbed by cockroaches than seems logical, and I’m among the more severe sufferers.
They make my skin crawl. And apparently, it’s enough to label something a cockroach—because termites never used to squick me out! Actually, I’ve always found them rather interesting. They build amazing structures, at least some of them eat literally twenty-four hours a day, archaeologists and environmental scientists find them useful... Do a search for termites and “biomolecular archaeology”; you’ll be amazed. And, just because I like the article title, check out “Termite Guts Can Save the Planet”
But now that they’re being classified as cockroaches, I can’t think of them without getting queasy. Ain’t the power of suggestion a wonderful thing?
What I find strangest about this is that I know the mantids are related to roaches, but I don’t have that same response to them; in fact, I kind of like the praying mantis. Why, then, should I be so freaked out about what’s really nothing more than a slight shifting in classification that puts termites in pretty much the same degree of relationship to the so-scary cockroach that the mantid has?
Maybe I’m neophobic? No, that can’t be it; I like (some) new things. Maybe I’m just disturbed by people messing with the classifications? No, it’s probably not that, either; this is hardly the first re-classification I’ve been around to see. Maybe it’s just that damnable phrase. “Social cockroaches.”
Yep. By the full-body shudder as I typed those words, that’s the issue. Imagine if cockroaches learned from their newly acknowledged cousins and ganged up on us!
Oh, ick. I really wish I hadn’t said that...
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